Blunkett detains himself under his own laws

Home Secretary David Blunkett (left) has placed himself under house arrest on the day he was to introduce Identity (ID) Card legislation into Parliament, it has emerged. The move comes amid allegations of improper conduct by the Minister.

According to smirking Home Office sources, Mr Blunkett’s own laws have forced him to sign his arrest warrant, refuse his own Leave to Appeal and order himself to be dragged through a bramble thicket “until a confession is obtained”. The abused Minister will then face indefinite detainment without access to sunshine or a lawyer.

If only!